Girls: a question if i may?

Hi there,





Im a 25 year old guy who is always a gentleman and a nice guy and due to this i really find approaching girls awkward in situations you wouldn't usually associate with meeting girls. By this i mean for instance if you saw a girl in a shop or a bus stop who you liked.





I am a sensitive guy but confident and sometimes i feel its hard to think i am confident as i don't feel comfortable approaching girls im attracted to in unorthodox situations. Even in bars i find it difficult to make that approach due to being shy and i am always frustrated with myself because i know im a guy with loads of personality and quiet confidence and yet i get annoyed that i don't have what it takes to bowl over to a girl easily. If a girl is with other mates of hers, thats even harder.





Being a quiet guy i tend to go for the quiet girls but sometimes im attracted to those who are my opposite and get angry with myself for not being brave enough to approach them.





Should i change?

Girls: a question if i may?
It's easier taking to someone at the bus stop or where ever else as opposed to a club. Maybe you just need a good opener, like if you need coins you could ask if she has change for a note or something. Just something that you would naturally ask a person even if she wasn't there. I know it is rather boring but you can usually start a conversation on the weather.


Don't be pushy, but be confident (you can fake it), just act as if it wont ruin your day no matter what she says. Be attentive and listen to her. It will be easier for you if both of you are always on the same bus or always shop at the same store. Familiarity is the good for taking the wariness out of a person.


So really my advice is to just have a go. You don;t need to change, but find your own way of approching a girl. Whats the worst that can happen?
Reply:If you're confident, you should be able to approach a girl who's your opposite. Yes, change, approach a girl who's not so quiet and shy. You'll have a good time. The difference in your personalities will be an eye opening experience (at least for a while) - laff.
Reply:No, don't change. I find shy guys adorable. Just try and say hello, or make eye contact. Often women don't need much more than that to come over and chat. Good luck.
Reply:You have to take a chance. Girls are timid too, okay maybe not all of them. I myself am the same as you, although a girl. But I believe you've got to take a chance, otherwise you may pass up the best thing that could have happened to you. You never know what may happen when you do try. No one likes rejection, but if you are rejected just try to feel confident that you made the effort. Walk away feeling good that you tried and think to yourself, "hey, it's their loss," and you didn't lose anything by trying. I actually asked out my boyfriend now, even though he made it known he would like to go out. Now 5 years later I'm glad I did. And I did it with the attitude, "I've got nothing to lose."
Reply:who have good attitude if u don't know,many guy dt have confident always ran to lady problem bcos they dont care wether the girl like them or have any feelings for them they just go and approch her but in ur own case it will sure take time before u approch girl and they will surely agree wt u
Reply:never change who you really are it may take you tym to find the right one for you but you will find the right one in due time :) but good luck i know some one just as sweet as you nd in the same place
Reply:ZZZZZ!! See there is your problem - you spend too much time beating about the Bush.... if you want your nat king - just come out with it - and ask - don't go into a big spiel about how nice you are...
Reply:I know it will be quite difficult to change, but you MUST. I am in love with a quiet, shy guy...I am the complete opposite..I am friendly, ougoing, don't meet strangers, in my mind, they are all my friends, He like to stay home, while I like to go out. It is true what they say about opposites attract. I want to be more like him and he wants to be more like me. I love everything about him because he is this way. I can't imagine having someone in my life that acts like me. , that would be too much.You have to speak up, and just talk. What have you got to lose by letting your presence be known, absolutely nothing, so go out there and make those friends and you might even wind up with the right girl you want to spend the rest of your life with. Good luck....
Reply:Just try catching their eye and smile a bit, then do it again later if she looks back shes interested. Shes probably wondering whats wrong with her that you never approached her.





good luck
Reply:Don't ever change yourself for anybody.


You sound like a very sincere fella...


You will find the right girl who loves you for you..
Reply:well i don't think that you should feel like that let me give you alil input, as a 25 year old women, when i get hit on by a guy that is a told butt head i blow him off and i don't want nothing to do with him ,





but then if i get hi on by a guy like you i don't care and i like it, alil shy don't hurt no one pulse it gets me more confident and interested in you more, i want to know all your secrets and i want to have fun getting to know you,





don't change cuz others want u to, if you do get to change do it cuz it well boost ur self esteem.
Reply:u shouldnt change for no one..i mean a girl gotta like u for u and thats ur opinions..one day u would find her too. Just be patient =]


goodluck
Reply:i think you should definately change. you see girls are as shy as men so take heart. plus if she turns you down atleast you'll know, its better than wondering how it could have been
Reply:hey, i'm definitely sure you aren't a loser, especially since it took character for you to ask this question. the truth is, there aren't many guys like you out there. almost every guy has morphed into a jerk, even if they started out nice. don't change yourself for anything, because i promise there will be a girl who will love you for all of these traits. i think its better that you aren't too forward with girls, because sometimes thats the best way. but sometimes, in order to get what you want, you need to act on it and approach the girl you're attracted to. im a quiet girl and i'm the same way you are. my advice though, is that when you see someone that you really think may be worth it, just go up and talk to her. you'll be happy you did.
Reply:you carnt change you, just dive strait in you will get there eventualy
Reply:Half of these girls answering you arnt helping at all. If you dont learn how to talk to girls then you'll prolly end up marrying someone your going to be miserable with... Seriously when a girl says "no, dont change. you'll find the one right for you soon enough" thats thinking in terms of fate and destiny. seriously.... that doesn't exist. No girl out there likes a guy who comes up to them and is nervous and stumbling over his words. Girls who say otherwise are lieing...





I dont mean to sound like a dick. I have the same problem as you and i'm getting better, it just takes practice. I know it sounds weird to think of talking to girls as practice. But if you actually think of it as practice then your more likely to speak smoothly and let what ever you have to say flow right out of you when your talking to them. Dont go up to the girl intending to bring her home. that doesn't work.








And pamala, there are TONS of guys like him out there.... just some dont comeout and ask for help...
Reply:oh my god you sound like the ideal man!!! IF I were living in the UK you would now have been giving a list of the bar Id be in - what Id be wearing and where Id be standing in the hope you'd approach me!!!


Dont ever change hun - there are too few guys like you out there!


xx
Reply:how would you change? how could you make yourself do something so out of character and feel comfortable? dont be angry with yourself, be gentle with yourself, and be positive bout you. it would be hard for anyone to go up to a stranger in a strange situation and chat easily. and specially in a bar with her friends, thats impossible. how about where you work, or at uni or whatever you do?


on the other hand, give it a go i guess, see if yu can do it. it would be a challenge, and u might do great.
Reply:sooo true your just like me





i have the same exact problem and im always going for the quiet girls
Reply:You sound like a gem! You may even get some admirers from this question. I think the lads may actually able to help you out more than the girls do. we will see. Sounds like you are looking in the wrong places. Have you tried dating agencies or web dating services? I must say as a women i have only ever asked one guy out in my life. Think us girls wait on the guy to make the first advance.(just seems the way of it) Be bold %26amp; yourself - If she don`t like you it`s her loss. good luck x
Reply:i wouldnt change no.i think if you saw a girl you like i would just make it simple, say hi how r u and just simply see where it goes.if she smiles at you its a good thing.ask her if she would like a drink sometime and if she says yes then offer to give her your number if cant hurt and if she rings its a bonus.hope i helped.
Reply:well, first u need to stop talkig like ur a professor, act normal, if u can, if i was to meet u out there and hear u talk like that, i would take off running...
Reply:I think that you need to go out and have a laugh with your mates down local pubs n clubs etc... By going out with mates your not compltely focused on 'finding the one' but if you got mates with you, this could boost your confidence as your not alone and girls will see that you're out having a good time. just be patient - good luck =)
Reply:carry on being who you are you stop looking let them come to you and they will you sound a nice guy girls sense when your trying too hard and it can be a turn off so good luck